Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A grouse

1.1 Date from today, I need not to be afraid of anything. It dawned on me that up until now I was a person who’s self always inconsistent when doing something. In this day and age, to be afraid is a mistake that should not be done at all but what a pity, I still being in a state of deadlock situation on this issue. Until when I want to turn a deaf ear to what people say about me.

1.2 To not have confidence and being afraid are bound to have a debilitating effect on my reputation as international Islamic university student. It is no doubt that my performance in study field is on the decline, that diminution keeps happening no matter how much I try to stop it. In other words the difficulty proves more formidable than I expected.

1.3 That is the reason why I always was deep in thought all the time thinking hard about it. Sometimes I assume myself as the one who gets thrown in at deep end, no ones there to help me. And needless to say, the excessive worry always across my mind that this problem would defeat me at the end.

1.4 I am quite devoid of self-respect. Thanks to my forbearance for being able to indulge with this bad thing. But I cannot blame the past all the time, I will have to go ahead to do lots of changes so that I can be equally same with others. In the fullness of time, everyone will learn the truth of everything that happens for now.

1.5 So it is a must to galvanize myself into action, to change from the bad situation to another good one. I want to take up the gauntlet to be in par with the others. My strategy now is geared towards making myself busy with study. For being able to study at this university is really a godsend for me after all. The golden rule in achieving success is not going to give up ever once (everybody see eye to eye on that hu hu hu).

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